Little Essy

Esther is the sweetest baby on Earth! Oh how I love her and this sweet snugly time. I always say she is like my little live teddy bear.  She just turned 4 months old and I just started laying her down for one nap a day. I get to hold her all the rest of the time. Actually Sammy and Max hold her an awful lot too. They all three just completely adore their little sister! They play with her and fight over who gets to hold her and they make up songs and sing them to her all day long. In return, she loves each one of them. She definitely wants mommy when she is tired or when she's had enough but most of the time she is just as happy in the arms of her brothers.

That doesn't mean that I don't still miss a lot and have lots of baby guilt. I wish I had time to sit on the couch and play with Esther like I did Max and even Sammy and less with Phoebe but still more than now.  I still feel like it is going by much too quickly and it breaks my heart that I can't enjoy each moment. But I don't think Esther bear is deprived. She probably gets more play time altogether from everybody. I never let a day pass without taking at least 20 minutes or so to play with Essy and probably I usually do that more than once. And I love the front pack. It is nice to carry her around with me while I go about my daily chores of catch up.

Her natural expression is a contented smile and she almost never fusses anymore. Unless she is tired. In my old age :) I have given up on all notions of sleep training since none of them worked anyway and I feed and rock Esther to sleep every time. I love the way she snuggles into my hair with her sweet fuzzy head. I spend my whole day rubbing my cheek on that fuzzy head.