This morning while I was getting ready, Sammy came into my room and said, "mommy I want you to sleep with me!" So we laid down in my bed and he wanted to play tickle and peekaboo and we were just laughing and playing and so I said, "Sammy you are sooo cute!" And he said "I love you Mommy! You are so cute too, Mommy!" That funny boy with his contagious huge smile and his sweet little voice! I can't believe he's already 3 years old!

Utah

Phoebe is so cute and cuddly!

Javier LOVES monopoly! He bought the game, finally a couple weeks ago and the kids have been very willing converts! The three of them have had a lot of fun playing!

Phoebe is just so pretty! We all love to admire her every day! And she is growing so fast too! She can already wear her 3-6 months clothes!

We up and took a trip to Utah last weekend. It was a lot of fun...and it wasn't a lot of fun all at once. I figure that is how most vacations go with little kids. We all miss our separate rooms and normal bedtimes and we all got really sick and that wasn't very fun away from home, but that was what it took to make some sweet memories, so it was well worth it. As always, I am sure looking back we will only remember how fun it was!

Sammy shaking hands with some Manaquins at city creek Mall. That is a super cool place!

Phoebe looking all gorgeous! She was so good!!!

More city creek mall. Its an indoors/outdoor mall. Indoor...with a huge window of a ceiling so you feel like you are outdoors. SO cool!

The story I have to tell from this trip is from the hotel. Each morning as we left my cute boys would run ahead and go into a room where the maid was cleaning and start talking her ear off, "Hi, I'm Max and I'm 4 and this is my brother. His name is Sammy and he is 2. There is a place called Just kiddin around and they have a big kids room you can go in when you are 5 and I will be 5 soon and then I can go in it!" It was so funny! The maids loved it! They would save out special food for the boys at breakfast and they were so excited to see them each day. It was really sweet!

The reason for the trip was Javier's mission reunion. There hasn't been one in many many years. His dear mission president and his wife, the Shurtleffs have been called on 4 missions right in a row. Mission presidents, MTC presidents, temple presidents and I can't remember the first one. They are such a wonderful example to us! We so enjoyed being with them and hearing their wonderful counsel. What an amazing impact they have had!

We got to watch a session of conference with my dear friend Emily and her husband and one with my adorable and amazing sisters! That was another major highlight! I love those three ladies!

Sammy was playing a game where Maddie was his Mommy and he would walk right by me and say, "No, You're not my Mommy, that is my mommy!" Then he would walk clear across the room and lay down on the ground and start yelling, "Wah, wah, wah!!!" until she would come and pick him up. He also force fed Maddie and Sophie a huge bag of chocolate covered raisins. They are such good sports!

We are buying a children's play place with my brothers and sisters so we considered it research to go to all the children's museums in the area while we were down there. The dinosaur museum was so much fun! The boys were able to explore what they were interested in and I think they learned so much!

its Max in the picture but Sammy built this dinosaur all my himself. He told me, "Mommy, I worked so hard on it!" I bet he did! Can you imagine tiny Sammy wielding all those huge pieces!

In Salt Lake we went to Discovery Gateway: Best children's museum ever!!! That place was so so fun!! I only have 2 pictures, but seriously, It was incredible!

Cute Sammy wouldn't wear a shirt this day because he insisted that the overalls were a shirt. He is still potty training and having accidents so he changes his clothes like 10 times a day and every outfit is hilarious! Even though I am excited for him to be accident free, I have to admit I love this phase!

One more story and then I am done. The other day I went outside and saw Max and Sammy were both up high on the fence talking to our grown up neighbor on the other side. "I'm Max and I'm 4 and this is Sammy and he is 2, How old are you?" I went out and introduced myself and thanked him for being kind to the boys and we went in. Since then Max will say, "I'm going out to talk to the neighbor, or I will catch him out there yelling, "Neighbor!!!" Hilarious, Hilarious boy!!!

Me again... Too bad

I took a family history class in college and our teacher talked about journals. She said there are 2kinds of journal writers. The happy ones who only write when everything is good and the sad ones who only write when things are falling apart. She said it is important to tell both sides of the story. I like writing both times. Of course it is always fun to write when the children are darling and we are doing lots of fun stuff, but Its sort of theraputic to write when I am feeling like a mess too. Thats how I am feeling today, like a mess.

Sometimes it just seems like no matter how hard i try I make the same mistakes over and over again. I get frustrated. I speak without thinking. Even when i do think about what to say beforehand, i get worked up in the moment and say things more angrily than i intended.  And no matter how quickly i realize i made a mistake. NO amount of appology really undoes what you wish you wouldnt have done.

Soooo... I will just take a deep breath and tell myself i have another shot tomorrow. i can look at my life and say at least i think i do this much less often every year, even if it gets more painful every time i do it, i should just be happy i am improving and call it good.