Today is a Gift!

Javier is Super Dad! Ever since we brought Phoebe home he has been working so hard to give the boys a chance to have fun and be the center of attention. Yesterday they went on a bike ride to the fun park which sounded like a lot of fun. Apparently Max made several friends. He would just go up to any kids he saw and say "Hello! My name is Max and this is my brother, Sammy!" I love that about my boy. Little sweetie! Well the next few pictures are from their trip to the aquarium a couple days after we got home from the hospital.

Javier has a serious fear of snakes so I was dumbfounded when I saw this picture. Way to face your fears Javi!

Max loves his little sister

He and Sammy both want to hold her literally all day. Sometimes I feel like telling them it is MY turn to hold my baby! But I am so glad they love her so much! She'll want to know someday that they both just sat around her all this month and waited for their turn to hold her and fought over who got to hold her and oo-ed and ah-ed over her tiny hands, and her tiny nose, and her tiny feet, and her tiny ears, and her angry faces and her happy faces and basically every tiny thing she does or says. They adore their baby sister!

She is a little angel too! I pretty much think she is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen! And she is such a sweet baby! She is really almost always happy, except sometimes at night the last week or so, but it is very predictable, as soon as I can get her to burp or pass some gas she's as happy as can be again, just sometimes it takes some time, poor little sweetie.

Sammy, you handsome devil you :) Oh how I love this sweet  boy!

All of Phoebe's cousins came to meet her that week and all of her aunts and uncles and multiple grandparents. She is one lucky lady to be born into such a big family of wonderful examples from people who adore her! And I am one lucky lady to have such an amazing support system! Oh how I love this big wonderful adorable family!!!!! We are so lucky!

She gives us lots of little smiles! The other night she was sleeping and she just kept smiling and I caught myself wondering what in the world she was dreaming about that made her so so happy. I decided it must have been heaven. It was a sweet moment because as I was imagining her seeing the Lord and being so happy to see him, my heart just filled with such a tender feeling and I knew that he loves her so much! As he loves all his children, but it is always a special moment as a mother to feel that he knows your children best and loves them best, and that he will help me to do my best for them, because they are so special to him. I may not have described it well, but it was a beautiful moment to feel a little of what he feels for my Phoebe.

I have to admit it, I treat my babies like dolls. I love to dress her up! She is just so cute in everything she wears!

I love the way that whenever she starts to fuss the boys rush to calm her down. Max will run to the piano and start to play twinkle twinkle because he is sure it calms her down every time (as a side note  Max has been OBSESSED with the piano lately! Javier taught him a couple songs and he practices them several times a day and plays them perfectly now. He also is starting to experiment with playing them in different ways, like he heard his cousin do, like playing twinkle twinkle but with a cool rhythm on each note. I am so so proud of him!) Sammy sometimes runs to the piano too and plays random notes to calm her down which is so sweet! The boys both are so sweet with her. They love to give her her binky, and if she fussy they'll lay down by her and stroke her head and talk quietly to her. Max really can calm her down. And it is so sweet that he is always saying, "I love babies!"

Sammy asks me all the time, "Is Phoebe a princess?" "Does Phoebe have a castle?" I always tell him yes :) and he is a prince.

Little boys adoring their sister.

Darling little princess.

Javier has been using baby lotion because we ran out of grownup lotion and in the wonter his hands crack open and bleed in an INSANE way. They become a bloody mess every winter. But anyway, Sammy saw him do it the other day and said indignantly, "Daddy, why are you using Phoebe's soap? You are NOT  a baby!"

Another funny Sammy story. My cute boys are like a couple of puppies. They spend the ENTIRE day pretend fighting each other, usually rolling around on the floor and placing lots of ninja kicks and punches, etc. in there as they fight imaginary witches, or power rangers, or whatever. I am so glad they are not usually trying to hurt each other but inevitably sometimes they do and tears ensue and I usually dont feel that sympathetic since I have usually been telling them they need to be gentler for 10 minutes prior to injury. ANYWAY... the other day Max kicked Sammy and Sammy's response was, "Max, dont kick me! You LOOOOVE me!" Cute hilarious boy is at least sort of hearing what I am saying I guess?

Cute Dad, cute Max! The weather is finally getting nice and the kids have been loving the freedom of going outside to play again! Hallelujah! Maybe Boise is cool because the kids seem to appreciate the outdoors more after not being able to enjoy it for so long?

So in conclusion, about the title of this post: I have been an anxiety nut lately. Okay a long lately. Probably since Javier's brother passed away I have just laid in bed every night for hours thinking about all the different ways my poor defenseless kids could die and feeling certain there is no way we can escape them all. Well there isn't in fact any certain way to, there are so many scary dangers in this world. But I have learned something too. I am not entitled to an easy life with nothing going wrong. Sometimes people live to old age without their spouse or children or brothers or sisters or nieces or nephews or parents maybe dying, but we are not entitled to that and death is also an inevitable part of life. So I think the only option open to us is to take each day as a gift. It has made me think again about the little child prayers I used to pray full of vain repetitions, where the first one was always, "I thank thee for this day". But I am praying that sentence again these days and not in vain repetition but with all sincerity of heart. I know that today is a gift and that each day I have with these dear, dear, dear loved ones by my side is a great gift. So instead of focusing all my energy dreading the possibility of loosing someone I love, I am trying to live in the moment and treasure each moment I have with them. What a gift today is!!