God blesses me for trying

I am 7 months pregnant with three small children and a very forgetful fuzzy brain. I am also so so exhausted so every small effort is heroically tiring and incredibly difficult physically, emotionally, and mentally. Today I needed to drop off a present for a little boy whose birthday party we missed 2 weeks ago. We also missed his mom's wedding reception and I was feeling like dropping off this present so late was a pretty lame effort compared to what I ought to have done, so I prayed, "Lord please give me points for trying today?"

Here is the beautiful answer he gave me on the way to piano lessons, later today. I am so insufficient in every area of my life. I want to be so much better at everything and I get so discouraged! Piano lessons is my weekly epitome of failure mostly. We are always late, we never practice. Half the time Max is so tired he can't even concentrate while we are there. I feel like the teacher hates me, the kids are loud and distracting and it just feels like I am the worst mom ever. But here I was on the way and I had this thought that in spite of all this, in spite of the incredible feebleness of this effort and how short it comes from what we are "supposed" to be doing, Max is learning to play. He plays pretty well. He enjoys it. He feels good about it. He has improved leaps and bounds from where he started a year ago. Sure he would be better if we practiced every day and we were always on time and I didn't have to bring his loud siblings to distract him at lessons BUT I realized that if I didn't try, he wouldn't play at all. Even my super duper limited effort is reaping great results. I realized that that is the way with all the things I am doing. My very best is not much at all, but even tiny efforts when they are consistent pay off :) 

The Lord is blessing me so much for trying :) We try to read the scriptures each day. It is hilarious sometimes. The kids jump off the beds and run around screaming while we read. We try to have family home evening consistently. The kids jump on each other and laugh while we are trying to teach them stuff. We try to serve (itty bitty efforts) like having the missionaries for dinner or helping with family home evening at the retirement home. Always we are receiving much more than we are giving. The sweet missionaries and retirees are so sweet to our kids, they are patient with all the noise and running and our frustration. We try to go to the temple but inevitably someone forgets a recommend (me), we are too late for the session, last time my dress broke when I tried to zip it up. We go to church but we are so incredibly noisy and it is exhausting trying to keep them all under control. I try to do geneology but after I have found many names it turns out I can't do their work because I am not their nearest relative. But even though these efforts sometimes feel so hard and useless it can be ridiculous, I have amazing kids!! They are learning the gospel. They are feeling the spirit. They are kind to each other and generous with others. They are happy. I love my husband and he loves me. I feel that the seeds we are planting in so much weakness now are already starting to bear a little fruit. The Lord is blessing us immensely just for trying. That doesn't sound like failure at all. It sounds like success :)